I am sitting in SeaTac airport waiting for my flight to JFK. Its almost hard to believe that this moment is actually here. I have been plotting and planning to make the move to New York City for just over a year. In September of 2008, Megan and I took a week long trip to New York which prompted me to start looking for possible jobs out there as soon as I got home. However, life got in the way. What started out as a plan became a story that I told myself would happen "one day". I continued to live and work in Portland and "one day" started to get further and further away. "Maybe next Summer" became my general response when people asked if I still planned on heading East. Eventually, with no set date for departure, the likelihood of actually moving became less and less.
On a Wednesday night in September, just a few weeks ago, I met a friend to see the movie "The September Issue". Kirsten and I grabbed some sushi before it started and she asked me what my plans were for New York. As per usual, I said "maybe next summer". After all, I did have brides booked through next fall already. "Brides?" she asked almost disgusted. "That's why you're not going to New York?" I was a little taken aback since nobody else had ever questioned why I was putting it off. She continued to tell me what an amazing opportunity moving to The City would be and that the only thing that was actually keeping me from going was not brides, but me being a big chicken.
It took me a moment to let her words sink in, then I looked up and said, "You're completely right". I could keep telling everyone, and myself, that I planned to move to New York someday. And I could keep coming up with reasons why I couldn't go now. But really, if I want to go, I just have to do it. Set a date, look for apartments, make contacts, and just go. I took stock of where I was in my life and found that I am 27 years old, single, working freelance in a smaller market, and not really making plans to move forward.
Don't get me wrong, I completely love Portland. It is home for me, and my family and friends whom I love dearly are in Portland. I realized, though, that if I don't take the steps to experience anything outside of Portland now, I might never do it. I mean, I lived in San Diego for five years while attending college, and I have traveled a bit and lived in Paris for a few months. But, I just wasn't ready to say that I was going to stay there forever and settle down. Living and working in New York is something that I want to be able to say that I at least attempted. No regrets, right?
So, Kirsten and I went and watched our movie all about the fashion industry in New York, and I was ready to go. That night I emailed my friends that live there and told them I would be moving in 2-3 months. As luck would have it, my friend and fellow makeup artist, Kristen Arnett, called to tell me that she would be looking for a new place soon. Voila!! Roommate! From there, plans started to fall into place and connections were made very quickly through people I have worked with, friends, and family. It all started to feel real.
I put in my 30 days notice at my apartment and started packing. Kristen started hunting for apartments in Manhattan. The apartment search has proven to be a much more labor intensive, emotional, and difficult process than either of us could have imagine. I am so lucky to have Kristen who has put in countless hours, and exhausting leg work hoofing around to see available apartments. Last week I started to feel serious anxiety about the amount of time and energy Kristen was having to put into the hunt all by herself. So, I booked my one way ticket and asked my friend if I could crash with her and her husband until we find a place.
This pushed my departure date up quite a bit. I was planning on heading out in early November and spending my last Halloween in Portland with my friends. So, all of the going-away festivities had to be set up last minute. I had a wonderful weekend with my friends, who indulged my karaoke passion (but not skill) and sent me off with a New York survival kit and mimosas. I worked really hard to keep the goodbyes happy and not sad. If I actually had to say goodbye to these people, I would be completely paralyzed and devastated. I am holding onto the fact that this is not an end, but an exciting beginning. A beginning of something that I have no idea how it will play out, what the result will be, or when I will be back. I am leaping knowing that even if I fall hard and end up back where I started, it will be an experience that I will carry with me forever.
So, that's where I am. Sitting at SeaTac airport waiting for my flight to JFK. Three huge suitcases and 8 boxes to be sent later. I appreciate so much all of the support, encouragement, and reality checks that people have given me in the past month. I look forward to writing updates when I have them, whether successes or failures. I will be completely out of my comfort zone and the safe little bubble that I have relished in for the past few years. I am looking forward to being in the middle of an amazing new city, making new connections, expanding my work to levels I haven't yet pushed myself to, and to being completely humbled and realizing how insignificant I am. This is my first step of many new ones to be taken.
